more learning!

Keeping with this flow of getting to know ones self and working with your own flow....I have had yet another magnificent learning curve this weekend. Since as far back as I can remember I have always had a strong level of intuitive insight. Like most intuitives before they accept this part of who they are, I would ignore the impulses. Over the years I have spent time and money cultivating this gift - but in all honesty I have not always listened to it when it came to things involving me. Hmm not proud of that admission - but it was that way so I could change it and learn to fully accept an honour each part of me.

I would say 95% of the time at least I ended up regretting not following my intuitive impulses. Not to say I always ignore my intuitive impulses but sometimes when it comes to me - I seem to do the opposite of what I am feeling. Partly because I am stubborn but mostly because I wanted to believe in something better and have until today, had connections with the 'martyr' and 'saviour' archetypes. Naive...? A dreamer? A sucker for punishment more like!

Well - people are good, but sometimes when you are trying to take things or situations into your own hands, when they are not yours to take and when you are going against your inner knowing - you can fall flat on your face! What was right yesterday may not feel right tomorrow - this is how it works and constantly each of us has the ability to adapt move on and go with a flow. Instead we hold fear, sentiment, hurt, guilt, insecurity and other self-harming traits and ignore the fact that we always knew what to do.

It is better to accept what you know and feel, rather than ignore it and then you can move on or not get yourself into situations with people which are sometimes jarring and un-enlightening. Basically another's truth is not a reason to doubt your own self - sometimes it is okay to walk away...clear off even! Ignoring your own intuitive impulses is not noble - it is a sacrifice. You sacrifice your own truth and and your own being - it is as good as being ignored, but worse you are almost ignoring yourself. Not nice!

Life is about joy, it is about being able to follow your dream and not getting caught up in trying to prove yourself wrong all the time. The reality is no one, not me, you or any other person can save anyone else. You can if you are lucky be an inspiration, but there is no saviour role. The same applies to this notion many people have of saving ones self. From what...? I am not talking here about physical danger as that goes without saying, but in the more etheric sense.

I always remember something I once heard Caroline Myss say about finding someone in there darkest hour. She said something like get your jacket and run! I always thought that was so harsh, but now I understand what she meant. It is not about abandoning anyone, it is about letting people go through what they need to without getting involved and without sacrifcing what you know the right thingfor you to be. You can be there without becoming part of it. Sometimes you have to just run away too! You will know what to do if you are connecting to your inner knowing!

I experienced both aspects of what I have written about here this weekend and I am so grateful because I learnt something so important. Although I still feel the pain of growth (everything just needs to catch up - body, mind, spirit and emotions)- I know this week is going to be much lighter as I have reclaimed or re-activated part of my true essence and that as you know can only be a good thing! It is true, life just gets better and better ;-)

Until next time, much love to you....

SarupaXXX

the holiday post

Well, hello again....I cannot believe that it has almost been one month since I last posted. My plans of sharing posts throughout my holiday were not to be realised. There were and are Internet connections in Kenya...even in the Maasai Mara (can you believe that?) but they were slow and very unreliable. I am back though, having had what feels like a month off. The holiday although great, felt like it was a detraction from what I have been working on. It was really strange, almost like a blip. I was removed from my path for the few weeks and now I am back on it. It is hard to describe but, I was not so connected whilst away. The big family wedding was a strange experience, something that I found hard to connect to at times. Families often create the most interesting experiences and for me question my ability to hold light at all times. At times it was very hard, people slip back into old roles, old wounds are opened up, and from the older ones these wounds are now surfacing in the younger ones. It seems that people are still struggling to move away from ancestral karma and finding the light to stand in their own truth.

Would I do it again? Unlikely to. Once you have moved away from a way of living to be taken back to it, is just not congruent with the new you. All too often spiritual seekers or teachers are expected to be perfect beings. It is as if, any storm is able to be sailed through. Without defining perfect, which is of course subjective, this is such a flawed way of thinking.

Firstly why would you, unless you were a danger or thrill seeker put yourself in a storm of anykind, this is not the act of self love. Secondly, the strive for perfection is what stops people from moving forward, nurturing their gifts or even changing their life. It is like we need everything to be in the image of our mind, our logic rather than the natural state. I was asked while away, surely to teach some of the things I do, I need to have found inner peace..? My answer was no! I teach this at all workshops I run, all things we seek are on a continuum, and to use the illusion of not having found them as a reason to not move towards them, or as a reason to not work with a particular teacher is a red herring. As I teach , I am learning too. This notion of perfect, or having already achieved perfection is interesting. Surely it is what we are seeking to be, to live in a divine way, even if at one level it is achieved it is always the next level that we are seeking this so called perfection. (Think of the onion, we get to one layer (level) and then there is something else for us to peel, a never ending process!) If it is like that, then we will always be imperfect in someones eyes. There will always be someone who wants to judge you and say that you are not good enough, you are not who you say you are. If this is something you experience, I say smile, and simply disagree without emotion. For no-one can know you as you know yourself. If you want to get to know yourself better then find some workshop, therapist, book etc. that helps you to connect to you much deeper. (check out some of the offerings at http://www.heavenlyspaces.co.uk/ , especially the Conscious Creator email programme)

From a spiritual perspective things are much more complicated as you will know and probably have experienced. Often what we think we are seeing in someone is not what is the truth, as we are choosing to experience something in a certain way. During my recent holiday I found that more often than not, people were playing out karmic patterns in order to clear things and close certain chapters. To the many people involved in these dramaramas and situations it felt like they were so important and earthly behaviours of pride and injustice kicked in. None of it was important, yet it was. Spiritual living is complex and simple. There is no right or wrong, there is no good or bad, things simply are the way that they are.

What have I learnt...? Well, to always follow my instinct and intuition. Is this something that you do..? I am sure you know when you haven't as things are not smooth. My intuition and instinctual feeling had been to not go on this trip, but I went against it. Okay, the trip was not good and nor was it bad, but it was something that was not part of my spiritual path. Being brave and being able to stand up for your own spiritual knowing is something that I will work on over the next few months...I will share exercises and meditations through this blog and my newsletters (click on http://www.heavenlyspaces.co.uk/ to sign up for the free newsletter).

It is really good to be back and being back on a path of service....if you have things to share about this post, or want to describe your own experiences then feel free to comment. The way we learn is through sharing...You, each of you is part of my family. Being born into a family is a limiting deal as each of us is connected, this moves us beyond and into the realms of brotherhood. So if you feel disconnected or saddened by what you see going on in your earthly family, look outside of it and see that there are so many of us that are also connected to you. Sometimes we just need to see the bigger picture!!!!

Until the next time take much care,

Love
Sarupa XXXX

PS - I will be posting a meditation very soon.....